Beginning with wandering around London and for the next ten days, my wife and I talked a lot about what to do. Previously we had decided not to have any children, given my age and our careers. And now, that would be changing. She immediately wanted to have the baby. I wasn’t so sure. The time it took me to come around was very hard on my wife.
Mostly it boiled down to I’m too old and this was way too unexpected for my to get my arms around it. In addition to all the emotion around our choices impacting our relationship and how our lives would change, I realized that human resistance to change has to be close to hard wired.
My younger brother and sister-in-law had their first child in their 40s. My brother quietly talked about the experience. Well, maybe this wasn’t so bad after all. He also referred me to a friend who had a child in his fifties. More typically, 50-something fathers are in a second marriage, often having had children previously, now grown up. Wow, this is pretty amazing, I thought.
Pretty quickly (8 days, but, as I said, hard on my wife), pushing my chips forward, I was all in. Best decision I ever made! And, once you overcome the anti-change inertia, the doors keep opening almost automatically, revealing surprise and opportunity at every turn.